Now, as I've made sure all my writing blocks or fears preventing me from doing it, I'm kinda ready to start.
What do I want to write about? Well, if my goal is to be autonomous as much as I can, which I detected as my top core value, and to get to strengthen my sense of self, while I do it without the need for validation from others, I'm screwed. I'll be free to choose a method that's going to give me the least amount of possibilities for the latter.
Now, I need to make a pause, due to external circumstances, but I'll continue like this in another way or another time.
I'm blue and have a war in my mind. I try to ride, but it's so tough. Tough having feelings like this, and knowing that somewhere there are alternatives, yet for example, they exist on the other side of the world, or I'm just not in shape to accomplish anything that I desire oh so much for so long. I know I need to be autonomous first and foremost, but I also need adventure and belonging, as they are two of my other core values. Everything that seems simple to others, to me is complicated to the point of contradiction and therefore impossible.